Your Guide To Asking Better Questions with Siddharth Anantharam
‘I’m sorry.’, ‘I forgive you.’, ‘I love you.’
If I asked you who are the most important people in your life, most of you would name a member of your family, gave me the name of your best friend or immediately thought of your romantic partner. Would you be so quick with your answer if I asked you to remember when was the last time you looked them in the eye and shared with them your regret, admiration or forgiveness?
Do you struggle with these conversations? Do you feel like you talk all the time but rarely say something that matters? Do you feel like you didn’t have enough time to ask the most important questions to someone who is no longer with you?
There is no
better time
to build
yourself
conversations that make life meaningful.
So how do we have more of those conversations?
How is it possible that we feel fearful to speak to the people we just called the most important people in our lives? We often feel like no-one understands us, like we have no-one to talk to at the end of a bad day. And yet, our moms are a phone call away. Our partners are just in the next room. And our friends are a WhatsApp message away. So what’s the gap between ‘These are the most important people in my life’ and ‘I am ashamed to tell you about the mistake I made at work.’ or ‘I think you will not accept that I am in love with someone who doesn’t reflect your expectations.’
It is fear that prevents us from sharing those stories. So we layer them, one of top of the other, we hide them deep inside ourselves and we let them grow heavier for so long that we cannot bear it anymore. Our secrets overpower us so much that we feel more comfortable speaking to a stranger rather than our own family or a friend.
But think about this: It’s not really the length of our relationships but the depth of our
This was Siddharth’s focus for the past few years. He brings together intimate groups of friends, strangers or family members and crafts spaces for them to explore meaningful conversations. He hosts dinners and residential retreats for those who feel the need for a safe space to go deeper beyond the day to day conversations; to discuss the things that really matter; to see things from each other’s perspective; to be really invested in the combined success of our friendships. You can join one of Siddhart’s LifeCircles by clicking here.
Here is what he found out are the key ingredients that make a conversation meaningful:
- They happen when two or more people are willing to be vulnerable with their thoughts and emotions with each other
- People come together with two intentions: to understand and to be understood
- All participants of the conversation are willing to be bluntly honest with each other
- There must be a shared willingness to step into the other person’s shoes and see it from their perspective
Siddhart shared with us 6 ideas to make your next conversation more meaningful:
- Check-in. Express your intentions and be fully present for the conversation. You could start with: ‘So, what’s on your mind?’
- Ask open-ended questions. Those are the ones that start with ‘What, When, How, Why…’ and don’t let you answer with a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.
- ‘When was the last time…?’ Open your conversation partner’s mind with a question that allows them to tell a story.
- Silence is a part of a conversation. You can express so much by not speaking a word and you become a powerful listener by staying silent
- Be a mirror. Say things like ‘What I’m hearing you say is…’ and give the person across from you a chance feel understood and elaborate deeper on their thoughts.
- Check out. Ask yourself and the others: ‘What’s the most valuable thing you are taking out of this conversation?’
Invite more meaningful conversations into your life by starting them. Give yourself the opportunity to learn and gain more clarity about the people you love the most.
If you’d like to learn more about conversations, connect with Siddharth and his LifeCircles via social media or the upcoming residential retreat in Goa, 26.-30. March.
So…what’s on your mind?
Siddharth Anantharam Master Coach | Founder, The Breakthrough Weekend
He is the founder of ‘The Breakthrough Weekend’ and the card game ‘Let’s Talk’,aimed at providing spaces, tools, and methodologies that are designed to help people have conversations that matter
Power of Authenticity with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani
Do you allow yourself to be yourself?
Do you do that often? Or do you live your authentic self, always?
The choice of living your true self is going to be hard, it’s like betting everything on one card. But it’s also an incredible freedom of knowing that, whether that card wins or loses, you will be ok with that.
There is no
better time
to build
yourself
‘Once your relationship with yourself is clear, then a lot of things will start clearing out.’
Kristina Mand-Lakhiani
Authenticity is standing up for yourself even if you know it might be difficult for someone you love.
It’s about knowing that besides a parent, child, friend, employee or business owner, you are something else.
What? That depends on you.
Maybe you are outspoken and you already know how to make your voice heard and count, maybe you are someone who likes to observe from afar. Maybe you don’t know what your authentic self is yet, and accepting that is authentic in its own way.
To Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, our greatest potential comes from self-acceptance and authenticity.
So, do you have the courage to rise to your strengths and your flaws in exchange for true freedom, success, and authentic life?
Here is a 3 min extract from her talk at LifePlugin Summit in Goa 2019 named “Lifelong Romance with The Self”.
Please give this a watch and share it with your close friends, family and anyone out there who may need a little reminder to trust themselves more, and to operate from their best, authentic self every day.
Come see us at the upcoming LifePlugin Summit, we can’t wait to meet your true self ❤️
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Kristina Mand Lakhiani Entrepreneur | Co-Founder, Mindvalley | Best Selling Autho
Kristina has spent over 18 years in the transformational Industry and is an International Speaker, Entrepreneur, Artist, Philanthropist, everyday life philosopher.